“I hate all people, except all the people I don’t hate.” – Honours student working on her personal brand

“Just because he has a PhD doesn’t mean he can teach.” – Complaining final-year student

“I love the Neelsie. It’s the centre of campus. It’s the centre of my heart”. – Nostalgic honours student

“Survival of the shittest, not the fittest.” – Faculty dean

“Game of Thrones is basically The Bold and the Beautiful with dragons.” – Student trying to summarise the series

“I don’t even want nice things anymore, I just want things to work.” – Students trying to connect to Maties WiFi

“I had lots of garlic, so I’m going to breathe on you.” – Overly affectionate student

“A barista is just a fancy Spanish name for an underachiever.” – An irritated Woordfees Comedian