By Anica Hattingh, Julian Rael Gordan & Emma Olivier
As the new year kicks off, residences are once more filled with moving boxes and unfamiliar faces. During this liminal time, many students experience uncertainty. How do you live with a roommate? Die Matie reached out to some students to discover how they cohabited.
Set expectations early
“As a first year I set expectations and boundaries with my roommates very soon,” says BScHons (Computer Science) student, Cejay Spinelli who stayed in Huis Visser from 2023 to 2025. Having conversations about how to keep the room in order is also important.
“I think having an open conversation about things like cleanliness, noise, guests and shared spaces is very helpful and avoids conflict later,” says fourth-year BAccLLB student and former Nemesia resident, Erin Carter.
When it comes to living with someone else for the first time since meeting them, Cassady Krzychylkiewicz, BAcc graduate in 2025 and former Nemesia resident, reminds that “there are two lives in this room and you need to let them also breathe in the space”.
Handle conflict with care
A healthy discussion can solve most problems. Krzychylkiewicz says, “Always have an open line of communication where you both feel like you can approach the other with problems without getting angry or becoming distant (both are unfair).” Krzychylkiewicz further mentions, “Your roommate’s boundaries are not attacks on you. Remember that most boundaries go both ways. You need to come to a balance.”
Spinelli emphasises the importance of boundaries too. “It’s important to keep your boundaries and not let the person take advantage of you.” In his experience, unresolved issues can lead to a “fear that it will mess up the whole year. When resolution feels out of reach, it becomes really hard.”
When resolution feels too far
“When you are forced to live with someone you don’t like or respect, it becomes a bad, stressful situation,” Spinelli says.
In a university residence, Krzychylkiewicz recommended to “approach the Head of House or primaria for a conflict resolution session”.
Whilst discussing issues with your roommate and potentially a residence head, it is essential to remain respectful and compassionate, even when you may feel it’s hard. Jana Fourie, PGDE student and Minerva Prim in 2025, says, “Make sure to not bad-mouth your roommate. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect.” Krzychylkiewicz says, “If everyone is receptive and willing to communicate maturely, a positive relationship can be built.”
So, roommates provide communication and cohabitation skills. Fourie says that it is “a difficult but fruitful experience”.
