Oh shock, oh horror, it’s House Dance season in Stellenbosch. While it can definitely be the highlight of the semester, it can easily turn into the story of the infamous date you maybe-sort-of-didn’t-really-know that ended up being the worst pick you’ve ever made. But how to avoid being the main character in a tale of house dance horror? If you find yourself doing the following things, you might just be the problem…
You treat House Dance like a drinking contest.
We like to drink with Joshy, ’cause Joshy is our mate, but if Joshy keeps up this pace he’s gonna lose his date! While a glass of wine (or two) can make a dance all the more fun, the line between fun and frowingupindebaafroom is a fine one. House Dance is supposed to be a night to remember, not a night to forget.
You’ve already planned the wedding.
Expectations, expectations, expectations. Just because you have been invited to the dance, or paid for the ticket, does not mean you’ve been invited to meet the parents, or that you get to play the part(ner). Unless you are very sure the vibe is not just platonic, keep your hands (and your lips, my word!) to yourself on the dancefloor. Read the room, and when in doubt, ask, and take no as an answer.
You take a date, then forget you took a date.
Tonight is the night! You have the outfit, the flowers, and lucky for you, the group of friends also going to the same dance. “Call Me Maybe” is a great soundtrack for a mid-dancefloor catch up with friends, but please don’t forget about the poor sod you left sitting alone at the table. Shame.
To ask, or not to ask? Maybe to unask? To ask again?
When in doubt, ask yourself: “Would my mother condone this behavior?” Would she think it proper that you un-invited a date after already having asked them? Probably not. Also, don’t invite your date to the dance on the morning of said dance. Or ask someone else’s boyfriend, or your best friend’s ex. Or your own ex. Call your parents, please.
Yap, yapper, yapperer.
Wow! That’s cool! If your most interesting topic of conversation at a dance is your degree, or yourself, it might be time to look in the mirror. Keep it a conversation, not a monologue, and ask questions outside of the stereotypical O-week three. Who knows, maybe you and your date even share a Letterboxd favourite!
You’re underdressed, or maybe even overdressed?
Dresscode might not always be that important, but surprising your date with an interesting style choice definitely is. House Dance is a formal event, and it might not be the best idea to wear plakkies (even if you have a broken toe) without letting your date know first. On the flip-side, if you plan on rocking up in a full Darth Vader-esque cape ensemble, potentially give your date a heads-up. She might want to bring her lightsaber too.
At the end of the day (or night), just be a decent person, and bring your best manners. And if your date suddenly starts feeling ill, chances are it’s less the Stellies bug, and more your experimental dance moves. Eish.
By Lené Vorster
