“Dit is nou die ding van die open stand, niemand is hier vir die rugby nie.” – Besope sesdejaarstudent

“How can you think Valentines is on the 11th of February. Where have you been for 22 years?” “Single.” – Depressed honours student

“The IT Hub is like Home Affairs for students.”– Frustrated student in the IT Hub line

“Afrikaans people don’t joke about being lesbian.” – An Afrikaans student

“Why is everything so hard all the time?” – Student trying to connect to Mom over WhatsApp voice call

“You’re like ready to get down on one knee to propose and I’m just like ‘what’s your name again.” – Girl to guy she met five days ago

“I’m thinking of going into porn.” – Final year student contemplating a career switch

“The last time I read an unsolicited email, my family got deported.” – Stressed Zimbabwean student

“If a random chick touches your dick, it’s weird.” – Third year student